Rush Limbaugh

I was standing in a parking lot and Rush Limbaugh was talking to a couple of older women. I began circling him at a distance and making oink noises at him, though he didn't show that he noticed, if he did. Eventually I walked up to him and started talking about how much I hate Olbermann's bouncing Boss Limbaugh at CPAC logo, and asked him what he thought about it. He wasn't bothered, really. He started talking about people who hate him being feeble-minded and for some reason I felt compelled to admit (untruthfully) that I didn't truly hate him, but detest everything he stands for. He told me you couldn't really disagree with him without being homosexual.

An argument ensued where I demonstrated that I was actually a fair bit more masculine than he was, and he seemed to think that my inability to cook for myself was proof positive that he was right about my queerness. I took this surprisingly hard, given the ludicrous nature of the argument. For a time, I walked away from him again.

Feeling conciliatory for no good reason, I went back and he was sitting down at a table having a drink. I told him that for what it was worth, I had found talking to him interesting. He didn't feel the same way, but we started arguing at a much lower level, with some mutually acknowledged humor involved. Things were going pretty well until Jen walked up and gave him some seed bombs (little ceramic balls prettily wrapped in rough twine that was clearly a nice gift). He immediately made a pretty skillful lob into a nearby bin with this gift. I was enraged. I slapped him hard in the face twice, and he went to stand up. But with his girth and poor health, he needed a cane to stand up, and I promptly kicked it out from under him. He retrieved it somehow and stood up again. I took the cane away from him forcibly, and threw it well off to the side, but Beth walked over and picked it up. She was holding it a bit like she wanted to give it to him, but I indicated that I wouldn't be very happy if she did. She held it hesitantly with both hands.

Another argument took place, and this one was far more heated than the last. Limbaugh told me what a scumbag I was for doing this, and how it only proved his point about everything. I felt slightly embarrassed, because what he was saying was true in a way: my actions really did confirm how he felt about people like me. Thus, I punched him in the face. From then on he just kept looking down and muttering the same arguments, but I continued shoving him and slapping the back of his head, and otherwise teasing the fat bastard. There was quite a crowd around us by now, but it wasn't clear that they really supported what I was doing. Finally, I socked him really hard in the face and took his wallet away from him. In it, he had the usual stuff, and about 200$ cash. I took this, and pushed him down into his chair, and walked away.

It was only slightly more satisfying to beat him up than it was frustrating that he made me look like such an asshole.